I AM YOGINI!

I am officially a yoga teacher!

This morning I took my first class. Eight strangers, two hours, everyone looking at me and listening to me and actually doing what I told them.

It's a very strange experience and I kept waiting for my teacher to come and take over.

But he didn't, and I continued, and when I said "exhale into Downward Facing Dog' every one of them exhaled and went into Downward Facing Dog. When I said "If you can, bring your legs up into shoulder stand", some of them brought their legs up into shoulder stands, and some of them fell over.

It was terrifying, then fun, and I look forward to doing it again when I'm a little more confident and a little less wobbly-voiced.

I got my teacher's certificate from Mahi today too - I'm all official like!

And Ida, Hari and I are on the Yoga Alliance India website - check us out.

http://yogaalliance.in/index.php?option=com_joomgallery&func=detail&id=249&Itemid=28

And here is my favourite photo of today. This is Ida trying to teach our friend Brownie, the local fatty boombalada dog, how to do his own speciality, Downward Facing Dog. I think there was an error in communication...

Some images

I haven't been able to post photos in a little while, so here is a pictorial snapshot of the past month, starting with the early morning view from our courtyard. For those who are interested, this is similar to the view I had when vomiting yesterday, though I was seeing a bit more of the ground, a bit less of the sky, a few less birds and a bit more water.

This is the breakfast we were meant to eat every day. Cow's milk, sprouts (not very sprouted) and a bit of fruit. I just eat the fruit and add nuts and fairly often, chocolate.
Buddha Delight is the local cafe (very, very close to home) that has been my saviour many times over. Whenever I am about to have a tantrum, or whenever i just really feel like a tea, I run to Buddha Delight. I love its serenity and its distinct lack of yoga teachers. And this is the courtyard we walk through to get to Buddha Delight. I don't think the animals every get to move.

This is Tripita, who has been cooking all our delicious lunches and dinners during the course. She is lovely and also, a magician. She manages to make a slightly different version of dhal and vegetables every single day.

This is the Osho centre near our house. We go here because a) it is on the way to Bhagsu (the larger, more touristy village down from Dharamkot with cheaper internet and better cafes) and b) it has...
PUPPIES! We found a litter of four (including one total runt, not pictures) hanging out with Osho* and today we visited them a second time, and took milk (the leftover milk we didn't want for breakfast).

Sadly it made them all vomit. Stef did some research and it turns out cow's milk is not good for dogs - all dogs are basically lactose intolerant. Oops. No wonder this one looks so unimpressed in the photo.

* Osho is dead.

VOMIT

You may have picked up that I don't quite believe many of the things my yoga teacher tells me.

Now he wants us to start the day by vomiting.

This morning we got up at 6am, drank four glasses each of warm salty water, then vomited it back up.

It was gross, and hilarious. So glad my fellow student Ida is a like-minded girl.

It is meant to clean you out - like a colon cleanse but for the upper part of the digestive system. Our Ayurvedic doctor agrees.

All I felt was silly, and then hungry. And it gave me a burning throat.

He wants us to do this every morning for 15 days. I refuse.

By now he knows there are some things that I simply will not do (like drink very fatty, very creamy cow's milk with added ghee in the morning. Or stand on a beginner's back in yoga to push them further into a pose). When I said 'no' he said 'ok, for four days'.

I walked away and tomorrow morning at 6am I will be walking away again, away from the vomiting.

Meanwhile, poor Stef woke up to the sounds of us - one loud Indian man and two small giggly western girls - vomiting. He disapproves also.

Words of Wisdom

I have two yoga teachers. Mahi, the director, and his cousin Hari.

Hari teaches us Iyengar style Hatha Yoga each morning, as well as meditation, breathing, and other things. He has trained for a long time with a very strict teacher. He is celibate, he is quiet, he is careful, he is quite hilarious. He hates cats and mongoose, and is scared of bears in the corn fields.

Mahi is obsessed with women, yet also professes his celibacy numerous times a day. He means well, but has on occasion been known to punch people, and recently said he would like to kill the Dalai Lama. His favourite topic is himself, and he often tells us he is going to meditate in the cornfields when actually he spends most of his time in Bhagsu (touristy village 10 mins walk away) chatting up Israeli girls (though he 'hates Israelis'). He can, however, do many very difficult yoga postures.

They have taught us many things, some of which are relevant to a yoga teacher training course.

So that we never forget these priceless bits of information I have will chronicle their Words of Wisdom here from time to time.

Words of Wisdom from my Yoga teachers:

"Red apples are green apples that 'they' have injected with acid to make them red"

"Cats are dirtier than dogs"

"Cat hair gives you epilepsy"

"Cow's milk is good for everyone, all the time, regardless of any lactose intolerance or allergy."

"Tibetans are thieves and very violent"

"Love is a Risky Game"

"Indian women never tell anyone when they have their periods. They are not allowed to be in the kitchen when they do - they must work in the cow shed. you should not speak about your period" (though it is important to tell your yoga teacher when you have your period, because you shouldn't do any upside down postures at that time)

"All Western people waste water" (this coming from a man who tells us not to stop a leaking tap, and lives in a village where public taps just pour forth water constantly.)

"Eat as much ghee (clarified butter) as possible to be super healthy - it lubricates your body so that you are better at yoga".

To be continued, I'm sure...

My Day

Firstly, apologies for slackness in blogging. I've been a wee bit busy you see, doing a yoga teacher training course in Dharamkot, near Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh, India.

Every Monday to Saturday my timetable goes something like this:

5:30am: Alarm goes off...

6:00am: Get up, shower, get dressed in the semi darkness, try not to wake Stef more than twice, go for a (very short) walk).

6:30-7:30am: meditation and pranayam (breathing). This time is generally spent thinking about food, or about London or Alice Springs or Sydney.

7:30: 'breakfast' - sprouts and cow's milk. Mmmm cow's milk. There is a reason I haven't had it in ten years: I hate it!

9-11am: Hatha Yoga class with Hari.

11:15: hang upside down from a rope in my bedroom for ten/fifteen minutes.

11:30: lunch - different from breakfast in that it is very edible. Always rice, dal, vegetables and chappati.

1pm: Mondays and Thursdays we have 'digetive breathing' classes. Somewhat similar to how Iimagine birthing classes are - lots of lying down under a blanket breahting heavily. Trying not to laugh.

Rest/break until 3pm: self practise.

4-6pm: Astanga Yoga Class with Mahi.

6pm: sometimes a lecture by Mahi, completely out of control, no particular topic.

7:30pm: dinner - same as lunch.

9pm: collapse into bed or perhaps run away to a cafe for tea or something.

It is exhausting!

I love Sundays - the day off! We go into town for a 10am massage and generally spend the rest of the time eating.

Animals of Ladakh

Ladakh is home to many rare and hilarious animals, most of which are far less aggressive than your regular insane Indian Monkey or rabid dog.

Here is a photographic essay of animals we encountered in Ladakh. All I am missing is a picture of me on a Yak.

We saw rare puppies:

Very placid dogs:

Flirty cows:

Animals either locked out of or jailed within gompas:

Surprising trout:

And our favourites, donkeys. They are so cute, and numerous. In Leh there are many donkeys that have been retired from their professions in the manual labour fields yet have nowhere to go. So they just wander the streets eating rubbish and trying to avoid being hit by cars or trucks. So someone has set up the Donkey Sanctuary, where they have a lovely time standing in this dirt field. We took them some carrots and had a lovely afternoon.

Julaaay from Ladakh

Sincere apologies for the lateness of these first posts from overseas!

We've been in India for a month now. And we spent most of that time in Ladakh. Ladakh is famous for many things, like yaks, butter tea, gompas and lamas (of the religious variety), barley flavoured things, and crappy internet connections.

It is also the land of insane roads and passes - like this one, Kardung La, the highest motorable plass in the world! Yes we motored over it. On the other side of Kardung La is the beautiful Nubra Valley, but that deserves a post of its own a little later.

At 3600 metres, Leh - the capital of Ladakh - is breathtaking in more than one way. It took us about 5 days to recover from the sudden jump in altitude (we flew from Delhi to Leh in one go). We had headaches and sniffles and lethargy and would get puffed after about a two block walk uphill. Particularly distressing when 80 year old Ladakhi women race past you carrying loads of wheat or barley bigger than them.

We spent our time in Ladakh eating (thukpa, thantuk, tea, bread, and so, so many apricots), walking (trekking between villages), driving (cars, buses, motorbikes - some less succesfully than others) and hanging out at our second home, Norlakh restaurant. We ate here so many times they offered floor space for our sleeping bags. Ah, makes me hungry.

We are now in Manali, in beautiful Himachal Pradesh So lovely and green after dry deserty Ladakh (didn't we just leave a desert?). But still, the blog needs catching up on the Ladakh chapter so stay tuned for a few more.